Being alone and being lonely

Why does the mind wander?
Why does your heart feel a longing for that it has never felt ?
Why is there this "quest" for something, anything ?
Why can't the mind, heart and a relative state of well being stay constant and retain happiness to never feel the "blues" ?
Why is being alone, lonely ?

I think for some people, there is this little voice somewhere inside that is saying, yes you are happy now, but there's more. There's more, you don't know it yet, but its there. You can't stop believing in it, because you know it exists, no matter how much it eludes you, no matter how much pain the pursuit of it causes, you know it exists and deep inside, you know you want it and you want let go of it. No matter how conscious an effort you make to not let it affect you, it resurfaces and when it does, you are lonely even when you are not alone.

Do I want to be rid of it? Can I get rid of it? If I did, will it make me happier ? If I did, will I never feel the emptiness ever again? I guess the answer is, you can't feel much empty when it already is the bottom of the barrel with nothing in it. Perhaps this is why they say hope keeps you afloat? For those that are courageous enough to let the water flow, I hope somewhere, sometime, you will let it in again.

As for me, I'm staying afloat for as long as it takes. No matter what.

Sharing ..

The bond between two people in love is quite amazing. Sometimes opposites do attract, sometimes its the opposite. But for two people to enjoy the same things together at the same level, that is something worth living for.

To know that when you are playing tennis or going for a jog or on a beach, both are there because this what they like doing and not just there, merely to be with the other or to spend time with the other or because one person likes it and the other person wants to see the other happy.

It is when both enjoy it and the fact they are together while they do things they would enjoy individually, that compounds the joy and happiness.

Busy Lives

The busy lives we lead leave us little time to ever so subtly suggest that special affection you share with someone. Affection means something. There is something about the person you like. Sometimes, its just friendship, a sharing of attitudes and experiences. A matching of the mindsets. Sometimes its more than that. Sometimes there is a possibility that affection could be more than just. It could mean that this is the person you look forward to seeing after working 12 hour days. Because just a glimpse and life makes sense. Just a few words shared and life is no longer a rat race. A warm gentle embrace and time stands still and that is all you want to come home to for as long as you work, play or do nothing.

That embrace gives meaning to an otherwise meaningless life.

Friendship and Love

Friendship is when you love someone for who they are, share their happiness and pain and always want them to be happy no matter where they are, who they are with.

Love is when that one special friend finds this happiness when they are around you. And being around you, sharing your thoughts and fears and growing old with you.

This one special friend, becomes you and you become them.

What is it about holding hands, walking on the beach ?

Walking hand in hand, in to the sunset. It's neither about the sunset, nor the golden sandy shores of the pacific, nor the gentle breeze, nor the calmness of it all. It is the feeling of being there, holding hands, feeling the heartbeat, breathing in the heavy air of the ocean shore and knowing if there was ever happiness, then this be it. This happiness is not to die for, it is to start living.